Change is on the Horizon

It is really crazy how much personal change I have endured since starting this blog over two years ago. I have seen some of the world, worked through a new life here in San Diego, and now I am about to graduate with a Bachelor of Arts in Communication Studies.
So I guess the million dollar question that I am asked on a daily basis is: What is next for me? Well I actually will not be completely done with school until August 2nd and my lease on my apartment is up in October so until then I will be secure here in La Jolla. I will be working through the busiest season in the hotel industry and then I will have to decide the next step in my adult life.

Until then I fluctuate between excitement: knowing this is the first time in my life I will no longer have routine and will choose how I want to use my degree, knowledge, and work experience. I have worked through my future on this blog and now is the time when I will have to live up to my words, putting myself out into the workforce. I have also battled with this flame of fear that has risen and subsided in me over the past few weeks. When inflamed I am scared of a lot of things: that I'll end up in a job I hate or I be stuck waitressing because I can't find a better job.

The other day I had a meeting with the general manager of my hotel; an inspiring woman who has worked hard to prove herself over years of dedication, all the while having a son and a husband.  She told me that this is a scary time. Upon receiving her undergraduate degree, she moved to Texas to be with her boyfriend. Not being able to find work, she found herself on the couch to contemplate her decisions and sit with her frustration, but weeks later employment was found. The moral being that everyone has their hardships but it is determination and belief in yourself which puts hands on your back and pushes you through.

In fighting this mixture of fear and excitement, I also face two other battling desires within myself. This need for change and discovery: to move outside of California and push my comfort zone. I think it is quite obvious by now that I have become overly obsessed with traveling and learning about new culture/perspectives. Or should I sit on the experience I have endured here in San Diego. I have spoken with the managerial staff at my hotel and they know that I would like to be promoted by the end of the summer. I also applied for a marketing position at San Diego magazine that I think would be an amazing learning experience.

So that is where I am at now, two weeks before spring quarter comes to a close. I hope this mini essay has answered the "What's next?" question for now. I have been told by coworkers, friends, and mentors that I have a bright future ahead of me and frankly comfort or assurance is not what I need. Rather, I understand at the end of the day these are my own decisions to make, but for all my friends and family that have pushed me up until this point my graduation is for you as much as it is for me. Thank you!!!!!